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Post by Swoosh on Jun 4, 2007 14:43:22 GMT -5
Maybe I think they're funnier than you guys do because, in my head, I give all the people funny voices.
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Post by tyler on Jun 4, 2007 14:52:31 GMT -5
^I understand where you're coming from. I could totally hear Daneesha's friend telling her they don't have her ghetto name, lol. That one was funny.
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Post by {joy the hideous new girl} on Jun 5, 2007 6:23:40 GMT -5
Coworker #1: So what've you been up to? Coworker #2: The usual. Just whacked off. Coworker #1: Dude, you're on speakerphone.
Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up! Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!
Girl #1: I am, like, so sick of eating matzah! Girl #2: I'm not Jewish, but I like to eat it. Girl #1: Do you know why the Jews eat matzah at passover? Girl #2: I think it's, like, because the Jews were baking bread when the Nazis came and they didn't have time to wait for it to cook, right?
Older woman: Excuse me, miss? Younger woman: Yeah? Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn't know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors. Younger woman: It's not a burqa, it's a poncho. I'm Jewish. It's for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx.
this site is amazing.
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Post by Swoosh on Jun 6, 2007 23:24:16 GMT -5
Loud hobo: Four score and seven years ago, there were no lesbians in this country. Old lady: You know, I never liked the word 'black.' I much preferred 'colored' -- it makes more sense. See, you're not black, you're brown like the color of toast. Nurse: Ah, um, I'm just here to give you your meds. Teen girl #1: Having a disease must suck. Teen girl #2: Yeah. If I had AIDS, I would die. Old white woman: Oh, it's so windy today! Black girl: Word. My weave's about to blow off my head. Old white woman: I hear that. Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can't you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity? Dude #2: Or juggling. Young child: Mommy, can you feel my forehead? I think I have AIDS. Lady to coworker: I wish somebody would warm up my muffin. Hobo: F***ing s***, a**hole! Lady passerby: Watch your mouth! I know you don't talk to your mama like that! Entire crowded platform: Oooh! EDIT: OMG 404 POSTS... POSTS NOT FOUND.
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Post by TORI! (is so hyper it's scary) on Jun 12, 2007 1:02:35 GMT -5
Dude: So, I saw this girl yesterday who had the most beautiful nose... Chick: Really? Dude: Yeah, I've had dreams about this same nose since 1986. I never thought it would happen, but I'm so glad it did. Chick: Wow. What did she look like? Dude: I don't know. I didn't get a good look at her face. Blonde #1: Of course there are 50 states. Duh! Blonde #2: Yeah... Wait, what state is Florida in? 21-year-old Jewish guy #1: Is Jesus a saint? Male Christian friend: He's Jesus. He's, like, the president of the saints. 21-year-old Jewish guy #1: Then who's the treasurer? Female Christian friend: [Blank stare.] 21-year-old Jewish guy #2: Probably whoever the patron saint of money is, huh? 21-year-old Jewish guy #1: And what about the secretary? Female Christian friend: [Blank stare.] 21-year-old Jewish guy #2: Yeah, probably the patron saint of note takers. Female Christian friend: I'm pretty sure it's not really organized like that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love this with a passion for fashion.
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Post by Swoosh on Jun 12, 2007 10:27:41 GMT -5
OMG, the saint one was amazing.
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Post by Swoosh on Jun 20, 2007 15:46:30 GMT -5
American Airlines pilot, landing after a blizzard: Well, we've just received word from the tower that global warming has been called off.
-JFK Airport
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Post by Swoosh on Jun 24, 2007 16:37:55 GMT -5
Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What's the name of the towers that got knocked down? Incredulous passerby: Umm . . . The World Trade Center. Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn't none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.
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Post by tyler on Jun 26, 2007 19:46:43 GMT -5
Okay, THAT one was funny!
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Web
Full Member
hi
Posts: 374
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Post by Web on Jul 6, 2007 18:58:50 GMT -5
hahahahahaha thats really funny
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Post by Swoosh on Jul 17, 2007 13:57:20 GMT -5
Woman: Excuse me, can you recommend anything from the menu? Waiter guy: No.
Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta maƱana! Drunk guy: That's not Italian! Drunk girl: He's not Italian, he's Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!
Tourist: Does this train stop at Cortland Street? Nun: Yes, it does. Guy: No, it doesn't. The station is closed. Nun: I've been riding this train over 20 years. It stops at Cortland Street. Guy, as train passes Cortland Street station: Lady, you may know Jesus, but I know the subways.
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maria
New Member
Posts: 1
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Post by maria on Jul 17, 2007 18:44:06 GMT -5
Teen #1: Hey, since, like, they keep putting cement and buildings and stuff on the Earth, won't it just keep gettin' heavier and, like, explode? Teen #2: You know what? I never thought about that!
Adult daughter: Wait -- so your friend in college had a pet alligator in his apartment? That's so dangerous! Did it ever bite you? Father: Yeah, but only once, and it was because I tried to fill it up with dirt.
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don't nobody look at each other on the train? Mother: 'Cause they ugly.
Guy: Are you getting off at the next stop, son? Black kid #2: No, man, this train goes all the way to Harlem. Everyone else gets off at 34th, 42nd... By the time we get up to 96th, it's me, a crackhead, and a midget.
Woman #1: The kids I babysit are... I wanna say 'satanic.' Woman #2: Wow. Woman #1: I know it sounds strong, but every time I'm over there they're like, 'Let's think of different ways to kill Jesus.'
Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up! Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!
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Post by kathleensamazing on Aug 5, 2007 9:47:28 GMT -5
for some reason again all i can say (or for this matter want to say) is wow......
no actually some of those are pretty funny! like, the one about the getto chick and the twin towers
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Post by Swoosh on Aug 14, 2007 18:34:44 GMT -5
Chick: Hey, I know what will make you feel better. Sad girl: What's that? Chick: Want to go through the dorms and poke holes in all of the free condoms? Sad girl: Ehhh.
Young child: Mommy, how do black people have sex? Mom: Ask your father.
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hannah
New Member
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of
Posts: 22
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Post by hannah on Aug 15, 2007 10:25:14 GMT -5
AAAAAAAHHHH!!! these are hilarious except the very last one is a little racist so yeah but most of the rest are very funny and its hard to believe ppl actually overheard these things but hey even if they made them up its funny so yeah
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